Diary of a Duck Fanatic
by FishyFloat
Summary: When eighteen year old Laura Dorset moves to California, she just knows her life will finally get better! A wild imagination, willingness to change herself into whatever mold she wants, and general perfection are all a recipe for wackyness. Throw in some alien ducks and things really get interesting.


CHAPTER ONE

A New Life

**AN: **Greetings and welcome to my fun story! I got kind of jealous of all the Mary Sue's running around here and wanted to create one of my own. Mary Sue's can be great fun to write but very difficult to read. Since I march to the beat of bagpipes (who needs a drummer?), I'm hoping you will all enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it. My Mary Sue is a little different than most... She's about as unique as a snowflake in Tahiti.

First off, I would like to preface this entire story by saying that I do not intend to mock, make fun of, or insult authors who have created Mary Sue/Marty Stu characters. I am not intentionally stealing plots or story arcs from preexisting fictions, even if it might seem like it. There are many, many themes that I find to be common in Mighty Ducks fan fictions and I am going to systematically address all of them as well as delve deeply into the world of what makes a Mary Sue a Mary Sue.

So, on to the story! Feel to flame, insult, and degrade my ability as a writer all you want. If I do receive negative feedback, I take it as a compliment that I have written something so provoking that the reader actually had to take the time to respond. If I receive positive feedback, I do a bacon dance and sing for joy. Both are welcomed and encouraged!

#

Anaheim promised to be the fresh start that Laura had been craving her entire life. Oh, it's not that her life was really that bad; in fact, it wasn't. And that in itself was a problem. Her days consisted of perfectly normal activities with little variety from the shopping, schoolwork, movie going, and daydreaming. Now that she was moving to a new state, a state with aliens, things were sure to become more interesting.

Stepping off the plane, the young woman eagerly glanced around. Her aunt and uncle were supposed to be here to pick her up. It had been years and years since she'd seen them. In fact, she couldn't recall having visited with Aunt Pammy and Uncle Drew since she was six. Would they recognize her? Would she recognize them? This was a meeting she had planned and imagined ever since her parents had declared they were going on a year long tour of Europe and she was going to college in California. In her dreams, they'd have a nice, big sign with her name and lots of colorful decorations on it. They'd be standing there with a balloon bouquet, or maybe even a flower bouquet, and start jumping up and down with joy when she gracefully floated over to them. Hugs and kisses would be exchanged before leading her out to the parking lot and drive home in a cherry red mustang. Once they arrived at her new home, her uncle would lovingly smile at her and hand her the keys, telling her that they had purchased the car just for her so she'd have a little something to drive around in while staying with them.

Smiling with anticipation, she continued to scan the people waiting for loved ones and acquaintances who had surrounded the gate.

"Outta the way," a gruff voice grumbled behind her as a rough hand grabbed her shoulder and forced her two steps to the side. Muttering about people not paying attention, the immaculately dressed businessman brusquely continued on his way down the concourse and to whatever meeting or home he had waiting for him.

Slightly flustered, Laura took another step out of the walkway and allowed the rest of the plane to disembark. Hoards of airline passengers flooded past, carrying off most of the people in the waiting area with them. One particularly revolting man in a blue business suit was yelling into his cell phone about loosing money and promising that 'they' would make the next appearance. She almost felt sorry for whoever he was talking to; this guy just never let up! Whoever he was waiting for must not be very important, he kept pacing back and forth, yelling into that phone, and ignoring the rush of people.

The petite brunette took a deep breath and let it all out in a great whoosh, shoulders sagging like a deflated balloon as the air left her lungs. It looked like her Aunt Pammy and Uncle Drew weren't here after all. Surely, they were caught up in a horrific traffic jam or they had the day wrong. Rather than focus on their abandonment of her, she sat on the window ledge and looked out at the planes. Pulling her legs up, she wrapped her arms around them and leaned against the glass, trying to look distantly beautiful. Time crawled slowly past as she continued to keep her photo-perfect pose.

"You Laura?" an overly smooth voice asked.

She looked up see an empty terminal, save for herself and the blue suited man. He stood over her, a congenial smile on his rounded face.

"Yes. Are you Uncle Drew?" He wasn't anything like her mom had described! Uncle Drew was supposed to be handsome, if somewhat bookish, short, and wore glasses.

"Nah," he waved off the question. "I'm Phil Palmfeather. Your aunt is taking care of the movers and Drew had to take Jenny to her skate lessons. They asked me to pick you up."

"Oh, okay!" Phil Palmfeather! She inwardly cheered her good luck. "I can't wait to see one of the Mighty Duck's games. They're all so amazing!"

"Yeah," he smiled as they walked towards the baggage claim. "They're the best team in the league! Of course, they wouldn't be anything without a great manager to take care of things." He paused for a moment as he took in the slight form walking next to him. "I thought you'd be older. You some sort of child prodigy or something?"

"Huh? Oh, that." Eyes rolling and shoulders heaving, she dismissed the comment that had come to haunt her life. "Everyone thinks I'm younger than I really am. I guess it's because I'm so small. I'm eighteen, even if I do look fourteen."

"Oh?" One eyebrow shot up at that. "Say, have you ever thought about acting? I'm sure you could get a job on one of those Disney Afternoon shows! I know a guy who works at one of the studios. Now, you'll need a manager and I'm just the person for the job. I'd even give you a discount, what with you being sort of family and all."

Yes, things were looking up. They eagerly discussed possible careers and a future in Hollywood for Laura as they claimed her two suitcases and ventured into the sweltering Anaheim heat.

"Is that seriously your car?" Eyes wide, Laura took in the classic 1957 Ford Fairlane 500 Skyliner. The blue and white paint was absolutely pristine and not a speck of dirt marred the white walled tires. She'd hoped for a red mustang, but this was even better!

"She's a beaut, isn't she?" Phil proudly puffed out his already large chest in pride. "I got her for an absolute steal from this schmuck down on fifth and main." He laughed quietly to himself as he hefted the floral print luggage into the small back seat. "Hope you don't mind, but I need to stop by the Pond on the way to Pam's house."

"Really?" This day kept getting better and better. "Can I meet the ducks?"

"Sure, no problem, babe. I've gotta see Wildwing about a gig they skipped out on this morning. I can't take my eyes off those birds for even a minute. This is supposed to be my week off!"

"So, what are they like? Do they have feathers? Are any of them in a secret relationship? Do they like humans?" She rattled off questions with the interest of a two year old in a candy store. Finally, all of her questions could be answered from someone who knew the aliens firsthand.

#

Laura gazed at the huge computer in front of her, completely stunned by the size of it. Phil had actually taken her down to the Mighty Ducks secret headquarters! The sheer amount of space they had carved out for themselves underground was breathtaking. The base had to be filled with all sorts of interesting alien artifacts and weaponry. Hopefully they would give her a full tour, once Phil found wherever they were hiding.

A large, white duck in armor and wearing a golden hockey mask came running from the hallway to her right. He scanned the area, left arm held up and hand fisted. It was difficult to tell if he was angry or if it was just the way his mask was sculpted. On second thought, those glowing red eyes didn't exactly project a friendly visage.

"Phil!" His orotund voice echoed through the cavernous room. "Get out of here! And take that girl with you." He stood straight and tall, his large form accentuated by the bulky armor covering his torso.

"Wildwing, bubbe," Phil schmoozed. "You've got some explaining to do." Striding over to the duck, he poked him in the chest forcefully with one finger, accentuating each word. "Don't you know you were supposed to be at the Happy Sole Shoe Farm this morning for a photo shoot? What are you trying to do, ruin me?"

"We've got bigger problems on our wings than your publicity stunts," the duck growled right back. He continuously scanned the room, more focused on some unseen danger than either human. "There's an espian capybara on the loose."

Laura gaped up at the six foot tall drake standing only a few feet from here. She was ready to bolt out of there the moment he'd ordered Phil back upstairs. And what the hell was an espian capybara anyway? The way he had spoken made it sound like a bad thing- a very, very bad thing.

Beeping from somewhere distracted Laura from her internal musings.

"Did you find it?" Wildwing lifted his left wrist and spoke into his gauntlet.

"We've got it cornered in my lab," a nasally voice echoed from the communicator embedded in the glove. "Do you guys think you can maybe, uh, come in here and, you know, help?"

"On the way, kid," a thickly accented voice responded.

"Be there in a minute," Wildwing agreed. He visibly relaxed, knowing the danger wasn't lurking behind some corner. Glaring down at Phil, he spoke condescendingly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go rescue my team tech from one of Dragaunus' creations. Get back upstairs and take that girl with you. We're changing the code." Turning his back on them, he returned down the hallway he had just come from. "You'll get the new one when you come back from vacation."

"Um... That was interesting," Laura started back towards the elevator they had come out of.

"Don't think this is over!" Phil yelled at the now empty hallway.

"Hey, Phil!" The same accented voice from earlier greeted hurriedly as a gray duck ran past, a golden sword in hand. He too vanished down the hallway Wildwing had gone down, intent on capturing whatever kind of creature was in the lab.

"Okay," Phil sighed, putting a hand on Laura's shoulder. "Let's go see Pam. I'll have to deal with them later. Stupid ducks, always skipping out on promotions to save the world. Why can't they just follow their schedule for a change?"

#

Laura sank back into the pillows she had propped up against the wall. Her mattress lay on the floor and the room was crowded with moving boxes. The only things in her new bedroom that were really hers were the the two suitcases full of clothing and a few stuffed animals and books.

Her mother had given her a brand new, pink, leather covered journal to help keep track of her life as she entered adulthood. A single rose was embossed on the cover with the word 'Dream' under it. Slowly chewing on her pen cap, she considered what to write.

Today is the start of my new life, she began. I'm in Anaheim, California! I still have a really long time before college starts. That's good, I guess. It gives me time to explore and get to know the Mighty Ducks.

I had the best time today! Uncle Phil took me to their secret headquarters and I met Wildwing and Duke. They were being attacked by this horrible monster called an Epsilon Capey Bear. It was HUGE! The bear was fifteen feet tall and really, really ugly. Satan would look pretty compared to it. Anyway, it swatted Wildwing away like he was nothing. Duke attacked with his sword, but the bear didn't seem phased at all by his weapon. It roared at him with the volume of a hundred fighter jets and Duke cowered in fear, dropping his sword. I wasn't scared, though. I knew the one thing Epsilon Capey Bear's can't stand is singing, so I started bravely singing Jimmy Crack Corn in my beautiful alto voice and it ran away! Wildwing stood up and came over to give me a big hug. He thanked me for saving his tail feathers and promised that I can come visit them any time I want!

Tomorrow I'm going to start unpacking this room. My cousin Lisa went to an ice skating class today. Maybe she'll let me come on the next one. It'd be really great to know how to skate! Ooh, maybe I can get one of the ducks to teach me. Then I'd be the most amazing skater on the planet.

Anyway, lots to do! Good night, wonderful journal. I look forward to filling you with my amazing adventures now that I've started a new life.

#

**End AN:** Sorry for this being so short. I sorta had a migraine last night and I'm writing at half capacity today. But, writing actually makes me feel better. I hope you guys like Laura. Trust me, she's going to get a lot more interesting in future adventures.


End file.
